There are so many reasons why this is obvious,but many people don’t do it.Including me.
why you should.
- typically,no one is going to care for your needs like you will
- its you.
- you’re no help to other people if you can’t get your self together first.
which…was my case.
for example.
My ‘close’ family has financial issues.How would i fix that?by giving.my last.like a naive girl.in hopes that by them saying,’this is it!its all i need and ill be out of the blue’ was actually true.It wasn’t.things actually would sink further.because when your in a financial mess,you have no room for mistakes.and since they were getting out easy it was easy to do that.
an example of that.
i remember it was 2010 or 11.my mom needed $95 to get a secured credit card.i know it sounds shady but it’s a real thing.i met an older man and he would pay me to hang out with me.i didn’t have a stable job and either did my mother but she was living with me in my apartment at the palms on westheimer,and we were struggling to even eat.i knew that the credit card would have like 2 or $300 on it when it would get here.So the man had given me $100 to play pool with him and i did.when i got home i told my mom i was so excited and gave her the money.
the next day she had been gone all day,she didn’t have a car so riding the bus took all day to run errands.when she walked in.she has like 6 pizzas from cicis…i thought it was free.
it don’t even cross my mind that she would buy pizza with my struggle money lol.
she said they were having a deal it was like 6 pizzas for $30 or something like that. it still hadn’t clicked that she spent it…so i asked, ‘ok did you put the deposit on your credit card?’.she said no because i needed bus fare.it was $10 for the day and i only had $90 i was short.
….
i started yelling.
i was so upset.
i just didn’t understand why.so i asked.and yelled more.where is the logic?
she really didn’t get it then gave me my change which was $20,nothing was adding up.
so my point of the story is this.take care of yourself first.its not being selfish.its actually helping those around you who need you.
i believed in what she wanted and what it do for us,so i gave her my last.
and that wasn’t my first time or last.it was a slight awakening.you see,i could have gotten that credit card myself.i was 18 and had no credit which isn’t good,and my moms was terrible.so we were in the same boat.i ended up getting a card with them later.but my first credit card was a secured one with capital one.but i wasn’t thinking of my self or seeing any potential.i should have taken it into my own hands instead of putting it in hers.
of course i have more knowledge now on and everything is so different.i tell her what she’s needs to do with her money and how to spend it.why?because she still asks for hundreds of dollars monthly.but i don’t feel like the world is going to end if i say no anymore.i tell her to figure it out,especially when she makes a frivolous large purchase that she cant afford.
now theres consequences for mistakes and before i would fix the mistake.
