ITEMS TO BRING WITH YOU TO A STUDY LONG OR SHORT

Everything has to have the ingredients listed on the label or they'll take them.Aloe is usually restricted. Ask them just to make sure.

• Tooth brush (some already have them)
• non whitening tooth paste (toms is safe)
• soap bar or liquid
• blow dryer, flat iron
• socks (its extremely cold)
• blankets (optional)
• things to keep you busy (cards, laptop, movies, gaming system)
• notebook, pens
• bring a 2 week supply of clothes if your there for a month, they'll usually do your laundry if you're there longer than 10 days
• no exfoliators (clarisonic, apricot scrub, shower gloves)
• ear buds (people snore, and can be inconsiderate)
• personal supplies like razors, deodorant, pads/tampons are ok.no douche 

A couple things i didn't mention were to take your temperature and pregnancy test.Drink mainly water a weeks before.

-MAKE SURE TO NOT BRING CONTRABAND. Even on accident.When your doing a check in, they check EVERYTHING especially depending where you go. I made the mistake of bringing allergy medicine and almost got kicked out. I told them i haven't used it in 6 months. It also wasn't in my system.So no type of medicine not even oragel. 

Can i change this season from sucking?

Fall/Autumn/Winter are my favorite seasons,times of year..,but for me, It's always so difficult.It's not a natural occurrence .It seems as if life just comes crashing down on me,all within a matter of weeks. Like finances,relationships,situations,wants....There are things i want to do,but i feel stuck,and in a rut.Everything is being timed and im hoping my life is never like this again.It has been 2 years of what seem like living hell.I feel like once i get out of this ill be resentful since i've been blamed,judged,and mistreated because i was at the mercy of others. Im too nice though.I also get over things easy.I pray daily that this ends soon and i can be happy again,uninterrupted.

MY DRAMA:Laura changed her username to 'boss lady'

If your just tuning in,a few weeks ago i wrote a post about a woman named Ovetta who i haven't seen or spoken to in 10+ years,i did't say about who she was or what happened.A week later i receive a message on youtube from her daughter.Mind you all not only have i not seen her mother since i was a kid,but i have never met this daughter only heard of her,and talked on the phone once.I was living in nebraska at the time and she has always been in some part of new york.

this is what she wrote

at first i thought she was a viewer that was upset about me talking about my mo because i have gotten a couple comments like that,so i misread it.I also NEVER THOUGHT that a woman in her 30's that has never met me and i hasn't spoken to since i was 11? message me in general a week after talking about her mother.What does that say about her?I have gone on with my life,and she is still checking for me a decade + later.How?Her mom would show up at my school uninvited and one day the school had to ask her to leave.I had to act like i liked her before that.As soon as i made a facebook she messaged me saying her mom was an old friend of her dads and wouldnt say who she was.When i found who she was i simpy asked is this Ovetta daughter?she deleted her facebook.I gave her info i shouldn't have but i was 16 at the time and I didn't know her intentions.

here are pictures of our convo from 2009 when i first started a facebook at 16 to 2012

after some time it hit me who this anonymous person literally years later...and when she got all the info she needed from me she deleted me and now keeps up with all my social media but calls me a lonely loser??

so i made a post here  about how they have been stalking me and my family for years,which her mom has convinced her to do.This whole issue is because she allowed my dad to use her for years and because of this she mirrored her frustrations on us.She was honestly a monster.Me and my brother are still dealing with the trauma UNTIL THIS DAY. I did respond to her but when i blocked her I could not reply to her but she could still respond to me.So i unblocked her and i still couldnt respond.I was still receiving emails and cursed her out accordingly.She is extremely defensive and starts bring up things from my child hood to demean me.Then calls me a 'nobody with no friends'.

If im all these things why are you keeping such close tabs on me?I posted her links since i could not reply directed and im not sure what happened but she has all new user names since our encounter.Im going to look through my email to see if i can find her comments.

Why my insta is the way it is

I have to work really hard online to get noticed,even in the myspace days,but surprisingly youtube has been the most exposure,most rewarding,and less self advertising ive ever had to do.I’m pretty ‘new’ to being anything on social media,and i actually enjoyed chiming in every once and a while,but as times go on and you grow and so are situations around you.Things aren’t as fun as they used to be…so I decided to make things fun again by revamping everything.As i sit here typing 10 request notifications have popped and there are about 400 sitting in there now.I closed the gram at the beginning of the year because no one was really following me.I would put it on private and accept people but they just want to be nosey,so they unfollow right away.Ive had my instagram for 4 years now and up until the summer had like 170 followers,its at 707 and when i reopen it a February,it will most likely be 1300,if i keep it closed but i haven't been able to.Why do i care about this?Well companies do apparently.

One of my goals of 2016 is to make a living off of social media,so now i have to actually care about social media and start promoting myself.Which i am really bad at.I landed my first sponsorship 2 weeks ago and 3 more have followed since then.

So i have taken a few steps to change things.

1.put my instagram on private

2.take better pictures

3.pick my theme

4.delete terrible unflattering unnecessary pictures

i will reopen it on february 1st or the last day of january

Break Down during a test

yesterday i had to do testing placement since im a new school.

i started crying during the test.It was so weird.

I couldn’t even focus.I have so many issues Im scared to tackle.Im constantly wondering why the hell did those things happen.It was all so unnecessary.Im so scared of having children,i don’t want them to experience any of the hurt that happened out of my moms control and mine.

No one saw me and it was weird crying like it was figuring out a math problem but i was tearing up,and it was coming down constantly.That’s why i need therapy.It helps to be truthful and write things out so Im taking the first step.It just sucks to be at the grocery store picking up grapes and hating yourself literally out of nowhere and the feeling is lingering.My body is sore from mental pain and im finally figuring what all of this is and it’s not normal even though it is for me.

Posted on January 14, 20161 Commenton break down during a testEdit"break down during a test"

Gay Guys are my Steez

what is my deal??its either young guys or gay men.my gaydar is soooo off.and even when i find out there gay… the feelings are so great that it doesn’t bother me when he wants to date.Im not into the flamboyant ones,i like the ones who are just…aren’t.Like the guy who was stating with my brother we had such a good time together and i felt so comfortable around him.We could be around each other all day and not get tired or feel the need to entertain one another.Another issue, the song say it by tory lanez reminds me of him and idk why!!! oh wait its because the first time i heard it i was on my way to dallas and when i came upstairs he was the first person i saw.

a few things to understand or note before you judge me

-he would meet me down stairs to help with bags to being upstairs without me asking

-he was a great cuddler

-i haven’t dated anyone in 7 months.

-he would pay for stuff even if he was broke and it wasn’t awkward,we could go in on stuff to get what we want and i miss that.

-he kept me smiling

-i actually had something to look forward to coming to dallas to do all these out patient visits

but with the good comes the bad,he was still in love with his ex girlfriend from 10 years ago,he kept throwing the word love too much he was asking me to marry him which is very annoying and i was willing to over look the fact that hes nigerian.im over the situation because hes gone and couldnt stand up for himself but still im alone again even if it’s from the gay guy i could never be with.

Posted on January 14, 2016Leave a commenton being attracted to gay guysEdit"being attracted to gay guys"